Sunday, December 22, 2013

Flawless/Modern day feminism

Unless you live under a rock then you aren't aware that Beyoncé released an album with 14 songs, 17 videos last week Friday December 13th. Luckily for me that was the day before my birthday and my wonderful friend Tina got it for me as a birthday present. I wasn't even in the Beeyhive like that before but now I'm an official STAN! 

The album is powerful and sexy and lovely and touching and sometimes you just need to hear something beautiful. Bee, you had me at "Pretty hurts". But, my favorite track (on steady repeat) is Flawless. The song features Nigerian-born writer and feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. The song excerpts the author’s TED Talk on feminism:
"We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller
We say to girls: “You can have ambition, but not too much
You should aim to be successful, but not too successful
Otherwise, you will threaten the man.”Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is most important
Now, marriage can be a source of joy and low and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are
Feminist: a person who believes in the social,Political, and economic equality of the sexes"
This excerpt speaks to me in more ways than one. I've always felt an inner desire to break out of the suffocating idea of the girl/woman I'm "supposed" to be. Thank goodness my parents never pressed the idea on us that we should be settling down and marrying a nice boy by the time we were adults.  From my own experience, women often do shrink themselves because who wants a strong, independent woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to speak on it? I like to think that if I was a grown man, then that's the kind of woman that I would want by my side. But, unfortunately I've met many men that can't handle a woman with a strong opinion and in comparison have met many women that have shrunk themselves for the comfort of a man. 
Hopefully, I'll grow into myself and my independence to not only be able to speak up for myself but have the success and happiness that I desire, without fearing that I will have to sacrifice that for love. Don't we all want someone that will stand next to us? My equal? Not behind or in front-acting out of fear and insecurity? Modern day feminism. That's what I want for sure. Maybe it's just time for everybody else to get with it. 
Watch the full TED Talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists
I woke up like this,  
Read more: Beyoncé: Lessons in Modern Feminism |

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