I'm gonna start this by saying that women have to support each other. Now, with that said I'm not hardcore feminist or anything but forreal we have to stop the nonsense. By nonsense, I mean pouring our insecurities onto other women without thinking twice about it. About two weeks ago, I returned to ballet class after a couple weeks absence. Since I was last there I lost a few pounds and since I'm tall I guess it's pretty noticeable how slim I am. ANYWAY, barely ten minutes into the class my teacher decides to come over in front of me at the barre, look me dead in the eye and says "You're too skinny. You need to eat something." Shocked and confused I replied (while in plié of course), "What? I do eat...what?" "Yeah but eat more", she replied. "It's not attractive". Seeing the look of irritation on my face she continued "Have a frappe!" with a smile on her face as if to lighten the fact that she just insulted me.
SO You can imagine my shock. I was baffled for the fact that she had the nerve to say such a thing & secondly that she felt the need to express this concern as I was doing my port de bra's...I'm thinking wtf lady....But ok...I'll cut her some slack because some people just don't have filters when they speak so even if she meant well...it didn't really come out that way.
Now, if I was an insecure teenage girl I probably would have bolted for the door crying, thinking "Damn, too skinny...but the magazines tell me I'm too thick"...etc But who's to say? And more importantly Who ASKED YOU? In my opinion, this is how women get so damn confused.
But it wasn't just her that had me vexed. Cuz this was like the icing on the "you're too skinny" cake. For weeks people that I hadn't seen in awhile felt the need to comment on my weight. And I have to say it was really starting to get on my nerves. No one wants to talk about their diet or their weight all the time even if they are confident in themselves & it's definitely not the FIRST thing that someone wants to hear you comment on when you see them. As a young, dark-skinned nappy-headed woman in the entertainment industry I have enough to worry about in terms of appearance or all that other bs. The last thing I need is something to add onto the list. I've never been one to worry about my weight but after weeks of people commenting on it you can really start to think something is wrong. I mean forreal though this ballet teacher came at me like I'm a walking sack of bones.
I guess people look at you-determine something & try to decide who THEY want you to be or maybe that's not the case at all....maybe some people just need a better filter before they say *hit. I mean really though am I supposed to go stuff my face with food because someone else thinks that I'm too skinny. In that case maybe I should go bleach my skin if a Casting Director thinks that I'm too dark or put extensions in my hair because a guy I'm dating thinks it's too short. I just really want to know when people (women esp.) are going to stop obsessing over weight every minute. I don't think I should have to offer an explanation for the way that I am. Especially if it isn't directly affecting someone else's life.
So maybe the next time you feel like commenting to someone about themselves, think about something positive to say and go with that :)