Last week I went to a networking party and it made me feel really weird. I'm laughing a little as I write this because I can't figure out why? Or maybe because it's just funny lol.
I should be able to go into a networking party and shine right? As a performer we're expected to be beams of light everywhere we go. As if every breath we breathe is as if we're on the stage. But that's really not the case- at least not for me. I am not loud in my personal life. I wouldn't say that I'm refined but I definitely shy away from attention. A lot of people I know that are performers are the exact opposite. A lot of times they tend to be musical theatre actors/actresses...haven't figured that out yet.
So anyway I met one guy wondering around this party. Talked to him for about twenty minutes. Actually it was more like I was being talked AT for twenty minutes. I got in a word or two. I wonder- was it that I LET him talk at me for twenty minutes? Maybe I should have taken more initiative to say more so that it felt more like an actual conversation. After the twenty minutes this gentleman didn't seem to be interested in talking anymore and as it was a networking party- I guess he didn't find any real need to keep talking to me.
Later at the party, I wondered about in my awkwardness lol and decided to introduce myself to a woman standing alone. She explained to me that the only reason she was there was because her friend was going to be there later. She was merely killing time until the show started for the tickets she just bought on Broadway. Well, leave it to me to start chatting up the WRONG person at the party. A few minutes into our chat, a talent manager crossed our paths and she was quite friendly. But, before the two of us could barely get a word in with her a young woman (that had clearly been scouting her out) went in for the kill and snatched her away in deep conversation- ready with quotes directly from the manager from a previous statement she had made- maybe researched on her website/forum. The young woman had done her homework and the other woman and I got left on the backburner...FAIL. I don't think I've ever felt so dissed lol... I guess the lesson learned here is that I should do more research next time. Especially when there was a list of important attendees on the website for the event. Probably should have taken notes...one of those little mishaps of mine. The little details matter a bit more sometimes.
It might take a while for me to feel like I'm really A PART of this city. I know I have the internal determination to get things done but if I don't go out and meet people and get over these little things, I'm not going to get anywhere.
Gotta find the balance between changing who I am and adjusting to different atmospheres that will greatly benefit me. yea...I THINK that's it......